Funny Shayari

True Friend Is Someone Who
Reaches For Your Hand And
Touches Your Heart …
Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ur jaati hai
Koi humse bhi ishq kare
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai
———— ———
Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)
———— ———
Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha,
Dekhta hi gaya……..
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya
———— ———
Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke saath
Ye bataya dooston ne ishq furmane ke baad;
Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez “ckeck” karta hoon main
“Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaane ke baad”
———— ———
Taj Mahal kya cheez hai
main to usse bhi bara mahal banaoonga,
aree Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thi,
main to tujhe zinda hi dafna doonga.
———— ———
KAASH TERE CHEHRE PE
CHICKENPOX KE DAAG HOTE
CHAND TO TUM HO HI
SITARE BHI SAATH HOTE
———— ———
Jise samjha Leher Pepsi
Woh nikla Jeher Pepsi
Jise samjha Coca Cola
Woh nikla Dhoka Cola
Ab piyo Wine and Whisky
Life hoga No More Risky
———— ———
Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par haire meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla
———— ———
Zindagi to hum bhi jee rahe thay,
Taqdeer humari kharab nikli
Tajmahal hum bhi bana sakte thay,
Mumtaz humari bewafa nikli
———— ———
Kaash dil ki awaz ka itna asar ho jaaye
Hum unhe yaad karen
Aur unhe khabar ho jaaye
———— ———
Aansu ko ankhon ki
Dehliz pe laya na karo.
Apne dil ki halat
Kisiko bataya na karo.
Log mutthi bhar namak liye
Ghoom rahe hain
Apne zakhm kisiko
Dikhaya na karo.
———— ———
Mohabbat ki shamma jalake to dekho,
Zara dil ki duniya saja kar to dekho,
Tumhe ho na jaaye mohabbat to kehna,
Zara humse nazaren milake to dekho.
———— ———
Log ishq karte hain,
Bare shor ke saath.
Humne bhi kiya,
Bare zor ke saath.
Magar ab karenge,
Thora gaur ke saath.
Kyonki kal usko dekha,
Kisi aur ke saath.
———— ———
Ta mam umar zindagi se door rahe,
Teri khushi ke liye tujse door rahe
Ab is se badkar wafa ki saza kya hogi
Ki tere hokar bhi tujse door rahe.
———— ———
Ankhen apki ho, par ansu mere
Zindagi apki ho, par sanse meri
Dil apka ho, par dharkan meri
Zindagi ke akhri mor par dua hogi yahi
Kafan apka ho, aur maut meri.
———— ———
Jab bhi apse milne ki takdeer nazar ayi
Mujhe pavon main bandhi zanjeer nazar ayi
Teri yaad main nikal pare mere aansu
Har aansu main teri tasweer nazar ayi.
———— ———
Talaash karo koyi tumhe mil jayega
Magar humari tarah tumhe kaun chahega
Zaroor koyi chahat ki nazar se tumhe dekhega
Magar hamara dil kahan se layega.
———— ———
Pyaar ke jaam ko aise na piyo ke
Adha piya aur adha chor diya
Yaron yeh pyaar hai pyaar
Nahin koi Max Bar
Jo thora sa lagaya aur bas hogaya…… .!!
Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi….
`
Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge.
`
Badi muddat se chaha hai tumhe
Badi duaaon se paya hai tumhe
Thuje bhulane ka sochu bhi kaise,
Kismat ki lakiroon se churaya hai tumhe..
`
Tera naam bhi usme zarur aayega,
Agar ye padkar bhi tune reply nahi kiya,
To pehla prize bhi tujhe mil jaayega
`
Darr-darr bhatkate hain armaan ki tarha,
Har koi humse milta hai anjaan ki tarha,
In dosto se call ki kya aas karen,
Ye to SMS bhi karte hain ehsaan ki tarha
`
Qayamat tak tujhe yaad karenge,
Teri har baat par aitbaar karenge,
Tujhe SMS karne ko to nahi kahenge,
Par phir bhi tere SMS ka intezar karenge…
`
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?
Hum woh nahi jo tum ko ghum main chhod de,
hum woh nahi joh tumse nata tod de,
hum woh hain ki agar teri saanse
ruk jae to tuj se apni sanse joor de.
`
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
`
Sms na karke dil tod diya, mobile dafna dena,
Kafan na mile to apna rumaal udaa dena.
Koi puche rog kya tha to nazre jhuka kar tu kanjusi bata dena..
`
Hum hum hain, tum tum ho
Na hum kam hain
Na tum kam ho
To kis bat ka gam hai
SMS bhejte raho,
Tabhi tu lage ga k mobile wale mein dam hai.
`
Dinse raat hone ko aaai hai
Pata nahin ye kaisi judai hai
Parwah nahin karte wo apne dost ki
Na jane ye kaisi dosti nibhai hai..
`
Eid ka chand mushkil se dikhta hai.
Lailla ko majnu mushkil se milta hai.
Hum to sms bhejte rehte hai par
Aajkal aapka sms mushkill se milta hai…
`
Chahane se har baat nahi hoti,
Thode se andhere se raat nahi hoti…..
Jinhe hum jaan se jyada chahte hai,
Unse har roz mulakat nahi hoti…..
`
Durr kahin wadi main rahta hai woh!
Har lamha khayal main rahta hai woh!
Kaisa hai woh kis haal main hai woh!
Dil ka har sawal main rahta hai woh!
`
Duniya mein koi kisi ke liye kuch nahi karta
Marne wale ke saath har koi nahi marta
Arey… Marne ki baat to door rahi
Yahan to zindgi hai phir bhi koi yaad nahi kar..
`
Lamhe judai ke bekarar kerte hain,
Haalat mere mujhe laachar karte hain,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki aapse pyaar karte hain.
Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,
Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.
`
Log kehte hain ke ishq itna mat karo,
Ke husn sar pe sawar ho jaaye,
Hum kehte hain ke ishq itna karo,
Ke patthar dil ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaye……
`
Har dil ki dhadkan main koi baat hoti hai,
Har udas zindagi main kisi ki yaad hoti hai,
Tume pata ho ya na ho tumhari,
Har khushi ke piche humari duaa hoti hai
`
Dil ne tera pyar per majbur mujh ko kardiya
Is jaha ki har khushi se dur mujh ko kardiya
Jis qadar chaha tha dil ne pass tere aane ko
Is qadar dunya ne tujh ko mujh se dur kardiya.
`
Jab hamko unse mohabbat thi
Unhe hamari mohabbat pe shak tha
Jab unhe ehsas hua hamari mohabbat ka
Tab hum par kisi aur ka hak tha…
Royengi ye aankhein muskuraane ke baad,
Aayegi raat din dhal jaane ke baad,
Tum kabhi naa ruthnaa mujhse ae yaar,
Shayad ye zindagi hi na ruth jaaye,
Tumhare ruth jaane ke baad.
`
Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!
`
Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!
`
Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?
Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p
`
Zindagi K Raaz…
Raaz Rehney DijiyeJo B Ho Aitraz…
Aitraz Rehney Dejiye
Per Jab B Ye Dil Chahey Aap Se Milna
Plz Ye Mat Khena K Aaj Rehney Dijiye
`
Kal Rat Meri Ankh se 1 Ansu nikal aya
Mai ne usse pucha Tu bahar Q aya?
To usne batya
Koi Teri Ankhon me itna he smaya K me chah kr b apni Jaga na bna paya…
`
Haqiqat jaan lo bichad jane se pahle,
Meri sunlo apni sunane se pahle,
Ye sochlena bhulane se pahle,
Bahut royi hai ye aankhe muskurane se pahle
`
Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
`
Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hai,
Hum hai ke unse pyar kiya karte hai.
Khuda ne taqdeer mein 1 tuta taara nahi likha,
Aur ek hum hai ke chand ki aarzu kiya karte hai!
`
Muskurane ki vajah kya jane hum
Hum to unki yaad ko tazaa karte hai.
Kambakth ye hasi bhi aisi hai ki
Unki judai mein bhi ro kar muskurati hai…
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
`
Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
`
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan…
`
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar
`
Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri..

Kya yaar tum bi ajeeb ho,
mere dil ke kitne kareeb ho,
na milte ho na sms karte ho,
kya tum mujse bi jyada garib ho???????

Girl: if u will try 2 kiss me, main shor macha dungi.
Boy:Lekin yaha to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl: i know but formality to karni hi padegi..

DUNIA me reh ke sapno me kho jao,
KISIKO apna banalo YA kisi ke ho jao,
AGAR kuch bhi nahi hota to DON’T WORRY,
chaddar-takiya lo aur so jao.

Log kehte hai k khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaya hai….
“simple c baat hai, faltu kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jate hain”.

1st Child: Mere Papa Bahut Darpok Hain.
2nd Child: Why?
1st Child: Jab Bhi Road Cross Karte Hain,
Meri Ungli Pakad Lete Hain aur kehte chhodna mat.

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai….
`
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho… Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!
`
Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye…???
Circuit: simple bhai… Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!
`
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey…
`
Which are the 2 latest versions of java.
Think… think… think…
Marjava & Mitjava
`
Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge..
`
Pyar to humein bhi karna tha, par kuch khaas nahi hua. Tajmahal to humein bhi banana tha..
par afsoos ke….
loan pass nahi hua…
Arz kiya hai!!!…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Gaur farmaiye…Itne kamjor hue teri judai se…
Ki chinti bhi ab kheech le jaati hai charpai se….
`
Ek kutiya ne pillon ko janam diya.
pillon ne pucha maa papa kahan hain?
kutiya boli ” chup raho kameeno papa message padh rahe hain”
`
Sorry aaplogo ko disturb kiya
lekin urgent kaam tha ,
kya kui apni 1 photo abhi bejh sakte hai.
hum log tash khel raha hai aur joker ka patta kho gaya hai..
`
Dheere dheere apna bana gaya koi…
Humein piyar ke sapne dikha gaya koi…
Kya yeh sach much piyaar hai ya rab…
Ya phir chuuna laga gaya koi…
`
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon.
Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna…
`
Students k Dard ko University Kya Jane
College K Riwajon ko Parents Kya Jane
Hoti hai Kitni Taqlif 1 Paper Likhne Main
Wo Paper Check Karne Wala Kya Jane….
`
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai..
`
Congratulations!
Good news for Mumbai University students
Exams of Uni have been postponed upto june
To confirm goto site
www.stopdreaming&startstudying.com
`
Ye exam ke rishte bhi ajib hote hai,
sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
rahte hai nigahon se dur,
sale wahi question paper me compulsory hote hai…
Kaash koi exam ke rijalt ka insurance kara dete,
To har exam ke pehle premium bhar dete,
Paas hote to thik varna insurance claim to kar hi dete.
`
Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Mein Exams Aa Jayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Pass Kya MUNNA BHAI Karwayega?
`
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?
`
Na waqt itna k sallybus pura kiya jaye,
Na tarkeeb koi k exam pass kiya jaye,
Na jane kaun sa dard diya hai is parhai ne…
Na roya jaye aur na soya jaye .
`
3 sardar after exam 1st:Yaar mujhey kuch nahi ata tha main paper khali chor aya hu.
2nd: Mai bhi!
3rd:Shit yaar, teacher samjhegi hum ne cheating ki hai.
`
Hum jeete EK bar hai, Marte EK bar hai, Pyar EK bar hota hai,
Aur shaadi bhi EK hi bar hoti hai..
tO ye EXAMS BAR-BAR KYUN ???
Dil ke dard ko dil torne wale kya jana,
Pyar ki rasmo ke yeh zamane wale kya jane,
Hoti hai kitni takliff kabar ke niche,
Yeh upar se phool charane wale kya jane
`
Ramlila se Hanuman tha farar,
Roll ke liye fit kiya 1 sardar,
sardar tha bahut hi kamaal,
ped se chalang mar ke bola,
“Jo bole so nihal”
Sita DARLING sasriyakal….
`
Ladki: Bhaiya 12 kele dedo
Fruit Wala: Ye lo behen.
Ladki: Yeh to naram hai thode kadak de do
Fruit Wala: kya madam kabhi to khane k liye liya karo..!!!
`
Jahan ki gurbat me sukun nahi ayega,
Gam-e-tohin se kubul nahi ayega.
Maklul ki fitrat he ye kafir,
Dimag fatt jayega parr yeh sher samaj nahi ayega..!!
`
Baba ranchoddas said
Neend k piche mat bhago,
Agar bhagna hai to padhai k piche bago,
Neend jhak mar k piche ayegi.
All IS WELL
`
10th class ka student : Mein fail hona chahta hu
Dost : Kyun?
Student : Papa ne kaha hai ki 1st aaya,
to science dilvaunga, 2nd aaya to arts,
fair hua to shadi kara denge!
`
itni lambi padthe padhte dam nikal jaaye!!!
Aasmaan aaj phir se roya hai,
Naakaam Aashiqon ke haar mein ek aur moti piroya hai,
Koi to bataaye kahan mera mehboob khoya hai,
mohabbat ki kabr mein mera yeh pyaar soya hai.
`
har ilzaam ke hakdaar wo hame bana jate hain,
har khata ki saza,wo hamen suna jate hain,
hum har baar khamos rah jate hain,
kyonki wo har baar apna hone ka haq jata jate hain.
`
Ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hu ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi.
Achanak Yamdoot aa gaya aur bola “Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai”
Aadmi : Lo batao, aab insaan mazaak bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya?
Congrats, U have been awarded
An M.B.A degree
For not Smsing me.
MBA means ‘Member of Bhikari Association’
Kindly forward it to all M.B.A’s.
`
Rose is Lal
Sky is Nila,
Ur brain is like Khali Patila.
Bura maan liya?
O.K
Rose is red
Sky is blue,
I born smart
What d hell happened to u?
Thora sa or bura maan lo!
`
Taste this SMS
Did u feel the taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad!!
`
Kamaal tere nakhrey,
Kamaal tera style hai,
Baat karne ki tameez nahin
Aur haath mein mobile hai?
`
Mosam shabab ka
Nasha sharab ka
Parda janab ka
Aur rang gulab ka
In main sabse haseen to dekho
SMS parhne wala “Mendak talab ka”
Exams ke do din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai!
`
Lamha Lamha waqt guzar jayega…
Chund lamhon mein exam aa jayega…
Abhi bhi waqt hai, do line parh lo…
Warna pass kya Munna Bhai karvaye ga?
All the best!
`
Kash koi exam result ka insurance kara deta,
To har exam ka pehle premium bharwa deta,
Pass hote to thik hai,
Varna insurance claim karva leta…
All the best!

1.
Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime….
Tumse pyaar karte karte hamne kar diya crime….
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1 is neither composite nor prime”

2.
Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist….
Agar dava chahiyetoh dhundo koi chemist….
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My NAME IS KHAN and I AM NOT A TERRORIST…

3.
Yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak….
yuh khamosh rehkar tadpogi kabtak….
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Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK..

4.
Arz kiya hai..

He is KISSING
She is KISSING

He is KISSING
She is KISSING
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* * *Some text missing
* * *some text missing

5.
Woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun….
woh mujhe chod ke chali gayi usse pana mein chahun….
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ahun ahun ahun
ahun ahun ahun

6.
Mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehnngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
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Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu…

7.
Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
Akbar ne kharide 3-3 ghode..
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aja aja dil nichode ….
raat ki matki phode…

8.
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan…
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
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LIFEBOUY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan…

9.
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna…
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna…
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BASANTI in kuton ke samne mat nachna….”

10.
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
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“itni sakti hamen dena data ”

11.
Arz kiya hai…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
Ab toh Zindagi ka maksad hai tujhe apnana…
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A for Apple B for Banana…
WAH WAH…!!

12.
Arz kiya hai…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…
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Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Kal tak thee jo meri present…
Aaj ho gayee hai past…
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Offer valid till stocks last.. :-P

13.
Arz kiya hai…
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
Bakre ne maara jo bakri ko seeng……
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Toh Bakri bhi maregi bakre ko seeng.

14. Arz kiya hai…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah…
Baith kar girlfriend ki Zulfon ke saaye mai aisa josh aaya…
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Ki Uske papa ne dekh liya aur ICU mai hosh aaya…

15.
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
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Waah! Waah!
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Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
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“Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!”

16.
Teacher to student : 1 chiku ke ped pe 10 kele lage hai, usme se 5 aam gir gaye , to btao ab kitne angoor bache…
Raju : Sir 10 hathi bache…
Teacher: Arrey waah, tumhe kaise pata chala
Raju : Kyunki aaj main tiffin mein methi ke pronthe laaya hun..

17.
Romio ne juliet se kaha ek sach
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Romio ne juliet se kaha ek sach
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Asali masale sach sach MDH…..MDH …!

18.
Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Propose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega???????

???????????????

!!!
!!!
….
!!!
….

Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai……………………………………..

19.
A scientist disconnected his doorbell…….

Can u guess why???

????
try

think!!!

donno???
cuz
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!!!!!!!!

He wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!! :P

20.

Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter

Gaur farmaiye

Salma ke pyaar me doob gaya Peter
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.
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.
.
.
.

Ab hero Honda splendor 80 kilometer prati leter

21.

1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
1 ladki ne kiya ladke ko gaal pe kiss
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.
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Mutual funds are subjected to market risks……!!!!
Wah wah wah

22.

World’s most PAINFUL shayari…

Dil mai chubhi sui….

Arz kiya hai…

Dil mai chubhi sui…
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.
.
.
Aawaj aayi
Uui uui, uui uui…

Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai
Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi hai
`
Teri zulfein hain ya ghana andhera
Katwa de baal, aur kar de savera
`
Juice peene ka maza cup mein nahin, glass mein hota hai
Greeting card dene ka maza gharwali ko nahin, saali ko hota hai
`
Wo ladai hi kya jis mein do chaar gaaliyan na ho
Aur woh sasuraal hi kya jahan koi saaliyan na ho
`
Majnu Laila ke baal pakad ke bola
Moya kitne din se sar nahin dhoya
`
Jaayiye aap kahan jaayenge
Hum khud aapko chhod aayenge…

Shadi Main Larki Ko Itna Kyon Sajaya Jata Hai? Any Guess? . . . . OK I’ll Tell You… MAAL Jaisa Bhi Ho. Packing Achi Honi Chahiye. :-)
`
GREAT INDIANS: When Power Goes Off in US, They call Power House. In China, They Check Fuse . But in India, First thing is To check Neighbor’s House. “Sabki Gayi Hai Na?” Buss!
`
Maine kaha “Dil Ruba” Usne kaha balance bhijwa Maine kaha “Paise Nahi” Usne kaha “Kaise nahi” Maine kaha “Mehangai Hai” Usne kaha “Ja aaj se tu mera bhai hai..
`
Believe in God! Pray 2 god always n everytime…
– - – - – Pray – - – - – Pray – - – - – Pray – - – - -

I SAID PRAY!
NOT press-press!
Bandar ko mobile diya to aisa hi karega
`
Can u think k 2+5=11 kaise aye? Socho-Socho Nahi maluum? Thoda aur dimag lagao Abhi bhi nahi? OK let me tell u k kaise aye Are buddhu itna bhi nahi jante.. GALTI SE

Koi umeed bar nahi atti
nakal ki sorat nazar nahi ati

staff room mai to khob ronak hai
par teacher class mai nahi ati

pahlay ati thee theek thak english
B.com karnay kay baad zara nahi ati

jantay hain parhai hai zawar
par tabyat udhar nahi ati

parhnay batho to neend ati hai
cable lagao to nahi ati

canteen hi hai duniya apni
wahan bell ki awaz nahi ati

teacher mujh ko kahtay hain
tum ko fail hottay sharam nahi ati…

1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS karnepade,woh musibat ho tum.
`
Ab Aur Manzil Pane Ki Hasrat Nahi
Kisi Ki Yaad Me Mar Jane Ki Fitrat Nahi
Aap Jese Dost Jabse Mile
Kisi Aur Ko Dost Banane Ki Jarurat Nahi
`
Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai
kuch dost pal-pal yad aate hai
hum apse yahi puchna chahte hai
k dosto ki is kataar me hum kaha aate hai
`
KHUSHI se dil ko aabad karna
GAM ko dil se aazad karna
Bas itni gujaarish hai aapse ki
ho sake to din mein ek baar yaad jaroor karna
`
Zindagi zakhmo se bhari hai,
waqt ko marham banana seekh lo.
Harna toh hai hi maut ke hatho ek din,
Filhaal zindagi ko jeena seekh lo
`
Har yado me usi ki yad rehti hai.
Meri ankho ko usi ki talash rhti hai.
kuch tum b dua kro yaro.
Suna hai dosto ki dua me farishto ki fariyad hoti hai…
`
Khusiyo ka ek sansaar leke ayenge,
Patjhar mein bhi bhar leke ayenge,
Jab bhi pukarenge aap pyaar se,
Zindgi se saansen udhar leke ayenge…
`
Thoda socha hai humne …
thoda jaana hai humne…
Mushkil se magar pehchana hai humne…
Koi aap jaisa na tha na hoga…
isliye dost aapko mana hai humne
`
Lamhe ye Suhane saath ho na ho,
Kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho,
Aapki dosti hamesha is DIL me rahegi,
Chahe kabhi mulakat ho na ho.
`
Itni dosti naa karo ki bigad jaye hum.
thoda danta bhi karo ki sudhar jaye hum.
ho jaye gar humse koi khata to ho jana khafa,
magar itna bhi nahi k mar hi jaye hum.
`
ZAMANE KI HAR JANNAT TUMHARI HOGI
YE AASMAAN YE ZAMI TUMHARI HOGI
MUJHSE KEH BHI NA PAOGE USKE PEHLE
MERE HISSE KI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
`
bikhri ankhon se moti hum piro na sake teri yaad me sari raat so na sake
beh na jaye ansuon me tasvir ye soch kar
hum ro na sake
`
Gum ki aahat bhi na aaye tere dar par,
pyar ka samunder ka tu bhi ek kinara ho,
kabhi bhool se jo tapke teri aankh se moti,
thame wohi jo tujhe sab se pyara ho !!!
`
Kisi mor pe ham ap ko khoney nahi denge..
Juda hona chaho to honey nahi denge…
Chandni raton man aye gi meri yad…
Meri yad ke wo pal ap ko soney nahi denge
`
Bhulana tumhe na asaan hoga jo bhule tumhe wo nadan hoga aap to baste ho ruh me hamari, bus aap hame na bhulana ye aapka ehsaan hoga.
`
aaj door se hi koi salaam kar gaya,
apni yadon ka gulaam kar gaya ,
apni zingagi girvi rakhi thi jiske paas,
aaj wohi hume nilaam kar gaye……..
`
Khuda ke Ghar se Kuch Gadhe farar hogaye
kuch to pakde gaye
kuch hamare yaar hogaye…

Bandar ki Beti Apne Baap se Boli
Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai
Beta thoda intezar karo kyonki
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Rahi hai

PANI AANAY KI BAAT KARTE HOO
DIL JALANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
CHAR DIN SE MOO NAHI DHOIYA
TUM NAHANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO

Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
upar likha hai most wanted
neeche 25 paise ka inaam hai

usne mehndi laga rakhi thi
humne uski doli utha rakhi thi
hum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegi
issi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi

APPLE KAT’TA HO KNIFE SE
PANI PITA HO PIPE SE
KIYA ZAMANA AGAYA HAI
JUTAI KHATA HO TUM WIFE SE

Ishq Me Dekh Tera Kya Haal Ho Gaya,
Badan Se Badbu Maar Rahi Hai,
Tujhe Nahaye Hue Zamana Ho Gaya.

Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya

PYAR MAIN KISI NE DHOKHA KHAYA
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI
Tum WO MAJNOO HAI
JIS NE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

Na ishq karna mere yaar
ye ladkiya bahut satati hai
na karna in par aitbar
ye kharch bahut karwati hai
recharge tum karwa ke dete ho
or number mera lagati hai

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi
Socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
Magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
Aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
Are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
Jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi..

Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab PYAAR kehte hain!

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,
Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,
To lalu ki kasam Bihar me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.

DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE

Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,
ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,
pee jati hai sara khoon ladko ka
tabhi to gaal itne laal hote hai..

Tum door sahi majboor sahi,
par yaad tumhari aati hai,
Jab saans wahan par
leti ho toh badboo yahaan par aati hai

DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE

Majnu ko Laila ka SMS nahi aaya
Usne 3 din se khana nahi khaya.
Woh marne wala hai Laila ke pyar mein,
Aur Laila baithi hai SMS free hone ke intezar mein.

Har gali phoolon se saja rakhi hai,
Har chowk pe ladkiyan bitha rakhi hai,
Na jane kis raste se aap aaoge,
Isliye har ladki ko ek-ek raakhi thama rakhi hai.

1) tum aa gaye ho
noor aa gaya hai
chalo teeno movie chalen
——————————————–
2) Maine tujhe sau-sau khat likhe,
tune kisi ka bhi jawab nahi diya;
kahin tere dil mein raddi ki tokri to nahi?
———————————————
3) Jee karta hai ki teri nili nili
aankhon main dub jaoon
Jee karta hai ki teree nili nili
aankhon main dub jaoon

chapaaak!!!!!
———————————————
4) Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
Yeh aankhen hai ya neeli jheel?
So? What’s the big deal?
———————————————
5) Gum woh cheez hai.
Gum woh cheez hai.
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hai.
———————————————
6) Khud ko kar buland itnaa
Ke’ Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche
aur khuda tumse puche
‘Abe sale gadhe. ab utrega kaise ‘
————————————————
7) Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Door se dekha to paani baras raha tha
Paas gaya. to bheeg gaya.

Khush Ho Tum Tu Khushi Meri Ho
Ro Tum Tu Ankhen Num Meri Hon
Ae Dost Hamari Dosti Itni Gehri Ho K
Sarak K Us Paar Tum Pito Aur Ghalti Meri Ho

Khuda Karay K Tum Ko Judai Na Milay
Kabhi Bhi Tanhai Na Milay
Mujhay Sms Na Karo To Kuch Aisa Ho
K Mosam Ho Sardi Ka Or Tum Ko Razai Na Milay

Girl: (Emotionaly)
Darte hain agg say kahin jal na jayen..
Darte hain Khwab say Kahin Toot Na jayen..
Lakin Sub Say Ziada Darty hain Es baat say…
Kay App Hamain KAhin Bhool Na jaye..

Boy : Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe…
Door rehkar bhi hamesha chahenge tumhe…
Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to…..
Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection’time out’ ho gaya

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
Khake paan Paro bolo”Shukriya Bhai Jan”

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho gai merii dukaan per wo paogai
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaogai

Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)

Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
Chand To Tum Ho Hi
Sitare Bhi Saath Hote
hasana mana hai

Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par haire meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla …

Rah rah ke apki yad aati hai.Sms na aane ke wajah satati hai.soch rahe zarur koi gam hai.Ya phir aap ke cell main paise kam hai.

Tumko dekha toh ye khayal aaya,
Tumko dekha toh ye khayal aaya,
Ke pagalon ke stock main naya maal ayaa….

Khud ko kar buland itna,
Ke himalaya ke chhoti pe ja pahunche,
Aur khuda tujh se puchhe,
Aabe gadhe ab utre ga kaise.

Agar Hume Dil Mein Basaogi,
To Heart-Attack Se Mar Jaogi

Agar Hume Aankhon Mein Basaogi,
To Chasme Ka Number Badaogi

Agar Hamara Picha Karogi,
To Gatar Mein Ja Girogi

Tum nay meray janazay main akar kiya muskura diya..

bijli chamak gaye sara kafan jala diya…

aashiq apni mehbooba ka aisi dhoop mein intjaar karte hai
jis dhoop mein majdoor kaam karne se inkaar karte hai.

Koi bhi cream lagane se kuch nhi hota.Agr sundar dikhna hai to khoob rootho… Kyunki… Koi haseena jab ruth jati hai to or bhi haseen ho jati hai

Ek gaon me thi pan ki dukhan,
Paro ne di devdas ko muskan,
Devdas ne khilaya Paro ko pan,
Paro ne kaha Shukriya bhaijaan.

Jab se begum ne mujhe murga bana rakha hai
MaiN ne nazrooN ki tarha sir bhi jhuka rakha hai

Bartano! Aaj merey sir pe barastey kyoN ho
MaiN ne tum ko to hamesha se dhula rakha hai

Pehley Belen ne banaya tha merey sir pe Ghomer
aur ab Chimtey ne mera gaal saja rakha hai

Sarey kaprey to jala daley haiN begum ne
tan chupaney ko Banyan phata rakha hai

Wahi Dunya maiN muqadder ka Sikander yahaN Tehra
Jis ne khod ko abhi Shaadi se bacha rakha hai

Pi ja is maar ki talkhi ko bhi haNs ker Nasir
Maar khaney maiN bhi Qudrat ne maza rakha hai